Oh, yes...we're all familiar with the ever-fun way to ask which alcoholic beverage a person would like to drink. What's your poison? Let that sink in for a quick moment. The simple question is actually inquiring which libation they'll choose in order to eventually kill themselves. Funny when you think about it, but not so amusing when we consider the horrid yearly statistics of alcohol-induced deaths in the US and beyond its borders.
We, as a society live and swear by this shit...until we don't. It's crazy. Everywhere we look, we're enticed by another beer commercial, another celebration, another sporting event...and, the list goes on and on. It's managed to seep so deeply into our culture that we've blocked ourselves to any other mindset with regard to drinking. Let's face it...the alcohol industry has us by the cubes and we've basically been held hostage to a burnt mentality that drinking "poison" makes us more fun, better looking, funnier, smarter and able to cope with stressful situations. Meanwhile, those who decide to ingest a few too many are waking up with a horrible hangover, next to a stranger, shameful recollections of the prior evening (or, no recollections at all), too many regretful drunk texts, and maybe even a parking ticket to top it off (assuming they made it home without a DUI, or worse).
I used to drink. I used to drink a lot. Two, maybe three some days...three, maybe 7+ on other days. No rhyme or reason, but after years, it always led to the same damn outcome. Passing out. Waking up. Feeling like crap about everything the next day. You see, when something becomes a pattern, a ritual that not only hurts you, but also others through your words and actions, it's time to take a serious look at your life and make a change. After years of playing my little charade (and that's exactly what it is) with alcohol, I hit that breaking point. I'd had enough (something I could never say while drinking - lol) and I quit the game.
I ended my relationship with alcohol. I remember the "that's it" moment very clearly. I was driving home from an afternoon doctors appointment almost two years ago whe
n this super-intense emotional vibe ran through my body. I started to cry out of nowhere. The tears poured faster than my last drink. At the time, I didn't understand why I had that particular feeling, nor my reaction to it, but I certainly do now (for another post). The next day (November 5, 2020 - to be exact) was my first real taste of sobriety...I broke up with alcohol cold-turkey style.
Fast-forward to NA Vibes! Once I made the commitment to myself that I would never drink alcoholic beverages again, I also encountered a few "oh shit" moments. What the f was I gonna do about this weird, lonely, odd puzzle I suddenly found myself trying to piece together? All of these questions came zinging at me like bar darts. What now? How? Why? Years prior, I had attended an AA meeting and quickly decided that it/the approach was not for me. I know it has been extremely helpful to others, and that's awesome - but, it was just not my thing. So, back to the alone (even though I had a supportive significant other) and lost feeling. I did not announce my decision to quit to the world. In fact, this is the first time it will actually go beyond family and close friends. I really wanted to do this my way. So, I took it one day at a time.
I knew I wanted a few things, for sure. I longed to feel normal again (I didn't drink "every day" seriously until many years after college, so I knew what it felt like to just have one or two). And, I needed to be healthy - in mind, body and spirit. I wanted to wake up feeling refreshed and excited for the day, anticipating the little treasures I'd find in it...to get my body healing and exercising again and I really desired to create my own, new personal and safe sanctuary. In a nutshell, I simply had to toss the "functioning alcoholic" name tag. Stigmatic labels...YUK.
This road through sobriety is definitely not an easy one. If it were, everyone would do it. It's filled with forks, bumps, hills, and road blocks. However, it is also filled with smooth turns, beautiful green pastures, and coastal views. Be a rebel. Give it a go. Go FRESH. It is more than POSSIBLE to reach sobriety. It's more than DOABLE to find sobriety. It's the biggest challenge I've ever given myself, yet has become one of the most rewarding paths I've ever taken. Truly, sobriety is a gift.
I hope you'll join me on this NA Vibes journey (whether you are sober, sober-curious or somewhere in between and just want to change things up a bit). With this site, we'll experience the good, bad, ugly, creative, weird, fun, informative, exciting bits and more of the non-alcoholic, healthier lifestyle.
The NA movement - full of awesome awareness and new products - is here to stay. I look forward to exploring and traveling through it with you.